


McDonald's Mayhem

by tacoturtle



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Other, crack ??2?, does this count as fluff ???, i'll just tag it as both and see what happens, i'm posting fics at maXIMUM OVERDRIVE, idk honestly, jk i'm just emptying out my wattpad lmao, there we go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 10:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6901804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tacoturtle/pseuds/tacoturtle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some homosexual volleyballs that get hungry for more than just Mickey D's</p>
            </blockquote>





	McDonald's Mayhem

**Author's Note:**

> me and my friend saw a picture of a guy in one of those Fisher-Price toy cars at a McDonald's drive thru and we both thought "Bokuto and the gang would totally do this" so here we are lmao  
> enjoy!!

"C'mon Kuroo, it's just a harmless prank!" Bokuto whined, nudging Kuroo in the shoulder.

"We're gonna get arrested if we try something like that. Or even worse, get banned from every McDonald's in the near vicinity." Kuroo said, and Bokuto laughed heartily at him.

"Don't worry dude! Everything will be fine, I promise. I'll even get Oikawa in on it!" Bokuto said, "So if anything goes wrong, we can always blame it on him!" He smiled at his plan, and Kuroo chuckled at his friends antics.

"I already told you my answer. No means no, Bokuto." Kuroo said, to which Bokuto wiped a fake tear away from his eyes. 

"Bro, I thought we were bros, bro. You were my Kubroo, what happened to us? Am I not good enough for you anymore!?" Bokuto wailed, clinging to Kuroo and pretending to sob into his shirt.

Kuroo sighed in defeat. "I guess I have no choice, then. You'd probably drag me along anyway even if I tried to fight it. So whose car are we gonna use?" He asked, staring at Bokuto curiously. Bokuto immediately smiled at his friends agreement, fake sadness washed away with a happy twinkle in his eyes. Kuroo didn't miss the mischievous glint that was mixed with the happiness, though, and he regrets even agreeing to his friends idea.

"Mine." Bokuto says simply, laughing at the confused expression that crossed Kuroo's face.

"But.....but you don't have a....." Kuroo said dumbly, which made Bokuto laugh harder.

"Oh yea I do." Bokuto grinned, and Kuroo already knew what kind of "car" he was talking about.

Bokuto didn't give him time to dwell on it as he picked up his phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Hey Tooru, you won't believe what Kuroo agreed to do."

~

"Honestly, I expected more from you Kuroo. I never would've pegged you as the type to do these things."

"Bokuto is my Brokuto and I've always loved pranks as much as him." Kuroo replied to Oikawa with a slight glare as they neared the McDonald's they had targeted.

Oikawa shrugged and tried to get comfortable in the small space he had in the car. "You know, Bokuto, when you said you had a car, I didn't expect one so-" he moved his cramped legs even higher up to meet his chest, arms folded around his knees, "-small."

Bokuto snorted at Oikawa. "What, did you really think I had an actual car? That's funny. Now hurry up and push! I want some nuggets!" Bokuto retorted, getting everyone in the cramped (might I add _toy_ ) car to start pushing for their food. The cars behind them were honking like there was no tomorrow, and Kuroo fell out of the toy twice when Oikawa tried to move his legs.

"Hey, watch it! You're damaging precious property!" Kuroo yelled, trying to fit back into the car.

"The only thing precious about you is your bromance with Bokuto." Oikawa replied immediately, and Bokuto laughed at both of them.

After a few minutes of pushing the car, they tiredly arrive at the speaker to order. Oikawa let out a yelp of joy while Bokuto fist bumped Kuroo, and they all went silent as Oikawa tried to hear the voice over the crackling of the speaker.

"Hi, welcome to McDonald's." A monotone voice said, a hint of anger in his tone, "What would you like to order?"

Bokuto was chanting about his nuggets while Kuroo looked over the menu, and it only took a few seconds for the boys to order their desired meals.

"That'll be $15.86. Please pay at the next window." The voice said, and the three boys pushed their vehicle hurriedly to the next window.

When they got up to the window, the employee opened the window to find all three of the boys grinning up at him, crammed into a toy car made for 3 year olds.

"Is-is this a joke?" The man said, and Bokuto laughed at the expression on his face.

"Actually it's not, and we want our food as quickly as we can get it so-" Bokuto nudged Oikawa to pay, but Oikawa couldn't move. He was too entranced in the employee that was glaring at him with greenish-brown eyes, those beautiful eyes narrowing as the owner realized Oikawa was staring.

Oikawa broke out of his reverie by a slap on his side from Kuroo. "Dude, pay the poor man." Kuroo said with a laugh, and Oikawa hurriedly put the money in- he read the name tag- Iwaizumi's waiting hand. Oikawa's hand brushed against Iwazumi's as he handed over the money, and Oikawa blushed when he pulled his hand back. Only one thought was on his mind right now:

_Oh no, this guy is hot._

"Thank you, sir." Iwaizumi said through gritted teeth, obviously annoyed at this stupid prank but hey, he wasn't payed enough to actually care about scolding them for this. As long as he made money he was fine. He sighed and gave them the change, just as another car pulled up to the speaker to order. Damn. Why was the drive thru so busy today?

"Hi, welcome to McDonald's." Iwaizumi said with fake happiness. "What would you like to order?"

Before Oikawa could stop himself, he blurted out, "A piece of that ass, god damn."

Oikawa's eyes widened as he realized what he said, and he could see the faint blush on Iwaizumi's face, his eyes wide as well. Cute. He could hear Bokuto laughing loudly beside Kuroo, the two wiping tears from their eyes as they laughed really hard.

"Oh my god, Oikawa," Kuroo wheezed, holding his stomach. "I didn't- I can't believe-" he couldn't finish his sentence as he fell into another fit of laughter, Bokuto joining him.

Iwaizumi sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, the blush still present on his cheeks. He really didn't get payed enough for this. "Please, sir, just go to the next window." Iwaizumi begged, and Oikawa looked over at him with a flirtatious smirk, all traces of surprise gone.

"Anything for you, Iwa-chan~" Oikawa sang out, winking as the blush across Iwaizumi's face got deeper. He laughed and started pushing the car, shoving Kuroo out a third time as he couldn't stop laughing and didn't even bother to help.

Iwaizumi had to take a deep breath before he broke something or snapped at the next customer. He would jump out of the window to strangle that boy if he ever saw those chocolate-brown eyes again.

It longer than necessary for the boys to push the car up to the pick-up window, Oikawa talking about Iwaizumi the whole time.

"Did you see his eyes?" Oikawa sighed out, Bokuto and Kuroo both rolling their eyes at him. "They held an anger, sure, but you could see his amusement too! It was definitely there. God, he was hot." Oikawa finished, and Bokuto nudged at him with his elbow.

"Dude, tone down your gay. If you keep talking, I might catch it." Bokuto said seriously, and Oikawa stuck his tongue out at him while Kuroo laughed at them both.

They all pushed up to the pick-up window eventually, bouncing with excitement in the confined space of the toy car. Oikawa and Bokuto switched places, Oikawa stating "it would be horrible if I drop the bags daydreaming about Iwa-chan."  _He was probably just lazy_ , Bokuto thought.

"Uh, here, I guess?" The employee said uncertainly, handing Bokuto the drinks. Bokuto handed those to Kuroo. No way was he trusting Oikawa in his current state.

"Thanks-" he was about to say something else, but the words died in his throat as he saw who he was talking to. This employee had messy black hair hung over grayish-green eyes, and even though there was no emotion showing whatsoever on his face, it still suited him well. He was probably the prettiest person Bokuto had ever seen.

"U-um, excuse us, just a moment." Bokuto said hastily, to which Pretty Boy- Akaashi, he saw on the name tag- nodded confusedly.

"You know how I said I might catch your gay if you didn't stop talking about that guy?" Bokuto harshly whispered to Oikawa, Kuroo listening into the conversation with a knowing smirk.

"Yea, why?" Oikawa asked, raising his eyebrows at Bokuto.

"Well it seems you didn't stop early enough because that boy is the prettiest boy I have ever seen in my life." Bokuto answered none to quietly, glancing over at Akaashi.

"Um, sir, you need to get your order." Akaashi reminded him, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he overheard what the three were talking about. Bokuto quickly got the rest of the bags and thanked Akaashi before using all his strength to pull out of the drive thru line.

"Someone's eager to eat, huh?" Kuroo inquired with a smirk, earning him a punch on the arm.

"Shut up bro, let's just check the bags so we can go." Bokuto said, grabbing a bag from Oikawa and checking the contents inside. Huh. Looks like everything is fine in this one.

His thoughts were halted as Kuroo spoke up, "Hey, they forgot my fries! How could they do that to me!? Brokuto, be a dear and go complain for me. Its up to you to restore my trust in this fast-food establishment." Kuroo sighed dramatically and brought his knuckles to his forehead, looking at Bokuto with a teasing smile. Bokuto compiled, feeling like this was payback for dragging Kuroo out in the first place.

After Bokuto went to complain, they were told they had to wait a few minutes for them to prepare the fries. The whole time waiting was spent with Bokuto and Oikawa ogling over their little crushes, while insisting that it wasn't "a little crush".

Kuroo opted out of the crush talk, instead keeping an eye out for his missing french fries. He gasped lightly as he saw an employee walking over, holding the bag with his treasure inside.

As the employee walked closer to their car, Kuroo payed less attention to the fries and focused more on the person bringing them. This boy was way more interesting.

  
He had sharp, cat-like eyes, and his face showed that he really didn't want to leave the comfort of the restaurant. He was pretty short, maybe a few inches shorter than Kuroo, and his hair was a peculiar mixture of blond with black roots.

As he got closer, Kuroo started to panic. This boy was beautiful. What should he say!? What should he do!?

Oikawa and Bokuto stopped talking as they too saw the boy getting closer. "All right!" Bokuto yelled, making both Kuroo and the employee jump. The boy slowed, looking at them with confusion before returning to his normal pace. He stopped at the foot of the car and looked down at all three boys, confined in their plastic trap.

He stood there for a few moments, his eyes wide, not knowing how to give them the bag. After a couple of seconds of Kuroo just staring at him, he finally snapped and almost threw the bag at Kuroo.

"H-have a nice day." He said quickly, turning around and nearly sprinting back to the doors of the McDonald's.

Kuroo sat there, watching the boy's retreating figure as Bokuto kept hollering about eating and Oikawa joining him, but all noise died down as they didn't hear anything coming from Kuroo.

"Dude, what's up? We can finally eat!" Bokuto said, prodding Kuroo with his elbow.

"Holy shit," Kuroo breathed, staring at where he last saw the boy. Oikawa and Bokuto smirked at each other, leaning in close to Kuroo.

"Hey, Oikawa, it seems I'm not the only one who's caught your gay," Bokuto said, causing Oikawa to laugh and Kuroo to blush.

"Shut up. Didn't you say you wanna eat? Let's go." Kuroo said, and he got the other two boys to help push their way back to the apartment. There was a silent agreement that all three boys would go back to that specific McDonald's in the future.

**Author's Note:**

> this was actually the very first haikyuu fanfiction that i've ever written yikes  
> //probably why its not as good as my other ones lm a o  
> anyway!!1! come scream about haikyuu with me on tumblr!1!!1! @ nishinoyaforthesoul


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